Grr!

It’s late – I haven’t finished this week’s Forest View copy yet. In fact, I haven’t started it yet. There’s not a Forest View theme in my head – the Forester sub-editors are screaming for copy. It’s panic time.

ALL RIGHT!! I’M WORKING ON IT!!

A theme, a theme, I need a theme. I know – rugby? No, did that last month.

500 words seems an awful lot – I can repeat a few, they don’t all have to be different.

Politics – too controversial - I don’t suppose anyone is interested in my political views, however elegantly expressed.

Landscape – I think I’ve already more than covered that.

My sporting career was not distinguished – no one will be impressed by a lifetime best cricket score of 51 in a span of nearly 60 years playing the game.

And squash – the most boring game to play and to practise. I played this game for 20 years. There were multi-stroke rallies where you had to manoeuvre your opponent to a remote part of the court so that you could then, with your opponent out of position, administer the coup de gras. There was necessary solitary practice on a squash court, hour after hour just hitting the ball up and down to myself. I’m not surprised that two of the three squash courts in the Forest (at Five Acres and the former Brightlands School, Newnham) have been demolished. Nothing to report there.

I did have a schedule of possible topics on my computer, but I can’t find it. Was it that I accidentally deleted them when I was deleting dodgy offers from dodgy companies which seemed to be too good to be true?

The first cuckoo of spring is a traditional theme for newspaper correspondents, but I’m notoriously unreceptive to birdsong. And it’s a bit early for that. No possibilities there.

I was going to write a sequel to an earlier Forest View but I can’t remember which one.

There used to be a theatre (as well as a squash court) at Five Acres college. There was always something going on there, a forest festival, a concert, a play, musical – always something substantial to review, but now sadly no

longer, now that the wonderful venue for local and visiting performers has been demolished.

With sport, theatre and cuckoos off the agenda, I’m struggling.

ALL RIGHT!! I’M NEARLY THERE!!

Sorry about that .

Suddenly, I find that I’m approaching the magical 500. Not quite, but I hope that 440 will be enough for this week.

See you next week. I’m nearly ready to start preparing it now. Just need a theme.